The 2018 NFL Draft Drinking Game
Full disclosure: I have far more experience critiquing draft picks than I have making draft picks or even watching NFL teams make draft picks. I've never understood the appeal of attempting to analyze 200+ young adults on the basis of internet clips, combine measurements, and bizarre scouting terminology. It seems even less appealing considering the inability for any one team to consistently outperform the competition.
Of course, there's no chance everyone decides to approach an event like this rationally going forward, so once again we're better off grabbing a beverage and sitting back to bask in the mayhem. Here's a set of rules you can use to maximize the entertainment value of the plodding, over-sponsored, and anticlimactic (seriously y'all, the season doesn't start until September) NFL Draft:
The 2018 NFL Draft Drinking Game
1 Drink:
Someone mentions "measurables"
Someone mentions "intangibles"
A player is described as "plug-and-play"
Any sentence begins with "This guy/here's a guy/This is a guy"
A team's fan base is shown cheering
Someone says "on the clock"
A Bud Light advertisement is shown
2 Drinks:
A team's fan base is shown booing
A pick is described as a "steal"
A pick is described as a "reach"
The Browns' draft capital or draft history is discussed
A QB picked after the first round prompts comments about Tom Brady/Russell Wilson/Derek Carr/Kirk Cousins
3 Drinks:
A trade changes the draft order
A draft pick is compared to a Hall of Famer/future Hall of Famer
Matt Millen weighs in on a Wide Receiver
5 Drinks:
A draft pick refuses to shake Roger Goodell's hand
A pick looks devastated to be picked by the team who drafts him (subjective)
10 Drinks:
Someone drinks alcohol on camera
Nail the first pick: Predict who will be drafted first overall; if you're correct, give out two drinks
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