Ben Higgins Bachelor Recap Episode 10: The Finale
Yes, we’re skipping the Girls Tell All episode. It's boring.
FRONTRUNNER: Lauren B CHOPPING BLOCK: JoJo
Chris Harrison is here to instruct us to get excited. Will do, Chris! He takes the temperature of the crowd to determine the fan favorite, and I think Lauren B has a slight edge. They’ve also built a small wedding setup on set in case Ben decides to get married, not just engaged, at the end of the episode. Shockingly, The Brothers Bro chose not to attend this event.
Chris sends us to Jamaica, where Sandals gets a nice plug before we check in on the survivors. Lauren B and JoJo are both very confident, and why wouldn’t they be?
Ben, on the other hand, is not confident. This is either because the producers asked him to give the finale some drama or because he’s really unsure about his choice. I vote the former, especially because his segment is in voiceover rather than confessional format.
Ben’s parents don’t seem thrilled that he’s in love with two women, and that he told them both as much. I can’t really blame them, but they’ll have a chance to meet the lucky ladies and evaluate for themselves.
Lauren B arrives with flowers and a bottle of wine (Knucks) before settling in to meet the parents. Ben is drinking whiskey, which is understandable given his upcoming agenda:
- Introduce girlfriend to parents
- Ask for feedback
- Introduce other girlfriend to parents
- Ask for feedback
- Break up with one girlfriend
- Propose to remaining girlfriend
Ben’s dad is first up with Lauren B, and she wisely sings Ben’s praises before confessing her love for him. Lauren’s conversation with Ben’s mom goes equally well; they discuss Ben’s concern of being unlovable (which would offend me if I was Ben’s family) and Lauren asks for guidance on how she can best help Ben with his insecurity. She’s crushing these conversations!
Ben has a chance to talk to his mom, and she asks if he’s let the women know he is in love with both of them. He says no, prompting this perfect reaction from his mom:
After a little chatting and a little snogging, Lauren B exits and we move on to JoJo’s segment. It’s going to be hard to top Lauren’s performance, and she gets off to a bad start by wearing a not-really-parents-appropriate romper. Look at this thing:
After mimosas and a brief recap of their relationship, Mr. Higgins walks off for his conversation with JoJo. JoJo is very excited about the prospect of a proposal and starts crying quickly. Mr. Higgins handles it well, and passes her off to his wife.
In her conversation with Mrs. Higgins, they discuss JoJo’s role as a crying shoulder during the season, prompting her to cry again. Someone please help this girl out!
Outside, Ben tells her again the he loves her, they snog, and she heads off to await judgment later in the episode.
Ben discusses his options with his parents, who approve of both women. The Higginses make some very acute observations, noting that Lauren seems more mature but JoJo has a certain flair to her. Ben moves on to the rest of his activities without reaching a firm resolution.
In the studio, Chris Harrison is still pimping the impromptu wedding set. That would be an ill-advised move if you’re Ben/Lauren B or Ben/JoJo. Doesn’t the show pay for an extravagant wedding if you wait?
We get some dramatic “thinking” shots of Ben wherein he wanders aimlessly from spot to spot on the boat he’s standing on. Lauren B pulls up alongside; time to earn that engagement ring, Lauren!
Ben and Lauren snog on the open water for a while before getting into conversation. Lauren tries to help him through his decision-making, but Ben is not very conversational. At this time of day, it seems he’s actually thinking hard about his predicament. Lauren catches on, and does her best to help Ben open up. He tells her he’s worried it’s too good to be true (smart move), but this is an unreasonable concern. Guess what, Ben? You’re still in the honeymoon period of both relationships, so they SHOULD seem that way! If you have serious reservations with someone this early on, THAT’S a bad sign!
We move forward to the evening portion of the date, where the two sit down to a nice-looking dinner on a sofa. Ben is wearing a hoodie with no evidence of clothing underneath. I think he did this earlier in the season, and it doesn’t make any more sense now. C’mon, dude.
Ben’s indecisiveness makes Lauren nervous, but presumed liquid courage and the delusion that only a network-television-sponsored-six-week-relationship can provide helps her push through and comfort him. Ben is digging her neck and ears, to the point that I’m starting to wonder if she put some bacon there. If so, well done!
Ben gives Lauren a “no matter what happens” speech, which would not make me feel good in her shoes. Tears start to flow, and the two snog a bit before saying goodbye.
Chris Harrison pushes the possibility of an awkward, family-and-reality-tv-superfans-only live televised wedding. I can’t eloquently express how dumb of an idea this is.
JoJo and Ben jump right into snogging, then share a Jeep ride to the Blue Hole. JoJo has fully adopted “babe” as her pet name for Ben. I don’t know if it’s her voice or the term itself, but it is not endearing.
The two swim for a bit before snogging under the waterfall in a replication of their fantasy suite date. JoJo decides she wants to discuss the future with Ben, an important conversation to have prior to getting engaged. Knucks to you, JoJo.
Again, Ben is visibly immersed in his own thoughts, unnerving JoJo. Going into the evening date, JoJo is committed to getting answers. Sorry, JoJo: you have to wait until the reveal just like everyone else.
JoJo and Ben set up on the couch to talk for the last time before Judgment Day. JoJo, to her credit, gets right down to business. She plays the crying shoulder well, but Ben does not drop the L word when describing his feelings for her, visibly affecting JoJo. He goes on to say he has no reservations about their relationship, and JoJo breaks out the same face Kat uses when I tell her I haven’t had anything to drink on a Wednesday afternoon:
A frustrated JoJo leads him to the bathroom, perhaps to escape the microphones. They should really know better! In the end, she gets a surprise: Ben tells her he loves Lauren. My instinct is to feel bad for the crying woman, but SHE VOLUNTEERED TO GO ON THE BACHELOR, SO THE BEST POSSIBLE SITUATION IS HEADING INTO THE FINAL DAY AS ONE OF TWO OPTIONS FOR SOMEONE SHE BARELY KNOWS.
Back in the studio, the poor pastor is still standing and brushing up on his Bible knowledge. Give the man a chair, please.
Ben wakes up to meet with Neil Lane, which isn’t very comforting when trying to make a big decision. Gotta get those advertising dollars, though, so we sit through a ring selection while Neil tries to counsel Ben. This is weird on a lot of levels, but for some reason Ben explains his situation to a man known for designing jewelry. Ben picks a ring that just SCREAMS Lauren (amIright, ladies?) and we watch him get dressed in super close-ups that are kind of disorienting.
Lauren chooses a very nice blue dress for the occasion, while JoJo goes with a far less safe, far more Disney pink sequined number whose most redeeming quality is cleavage emphasis. Good-looking people look good in almost anything, but this is a weird Vegas club gown.
JoJo steps off the helicopter first, and Chris doesn’t give anything away. The sun should, though! They always propose at sunset which is still hours away. Just turn around now, JoJo, and spare yourself the long walk in heels to an awkward breakup.
For some reason Ben lets JoJo launch right into what are basically wedding vows. Is JoJo actually the one who is going to win?!
Ben shares some feels of his own, then drops the BUT hammer. JoJo is not pleased. He rounds out the sandwich technique, and JoJo vents a little. She says it’s “fine”, proving once again that “fine” is never a word you want to hear from a significant other. The two hug it out before JoJo gets in the limo and is driven off. I hope there’s a bar in there, maybe even a bartender.
Ben tearfully concludes his feelings for JoJo in a confessional, and begins to prepare to propose to another person. This is uncomfortable. After composing himself, he calls Lauren’s dad to ask for his blessing. Classy move! Knucks to you, Ben.
Lauren’s dad gives his blessing, and Ben lets out a whoop/fist pump combination. It feels awesome to make that gesture, but it’s hard to look good doing it.
Finally, Lauren arrives and makes her way to the waiting Ben. They exchange their genuinely cute engagement vows, which are only a thing in the Bachverse, as far as I know. Ben drops to a knee, and Lauren of course says “yes”. Bachelor Ben, The Second of His Name, is officially engaged! As little as I believe this show can lead to meaningful relationships, these two are pretty adorkable and I’m kind of rooting for them.
At least the Brothers Bro can sleep easy knowing they scared off JoJo’s suitor. Of course, as the next Bachelorette she’s going to have 20-30 new suitors soon. God I hope they get rooms in the Bach House!
