The Bachelor Recap, Nick Viall Episode 9: Fantasy Suites Part 1
When we left off last week, Nick was pondering the implications of the upcoming Rose Ceremony. How do you identify the three best people to sexually audition for a 50/50 chance at a marriage proposal? To make things more complicated, Andi Dorfman made a surprise visit. Will the former Bachelorette (Season 10) and destroyer of Nick's dreams desperately ask for him back? Or provide him with sage counsel he can't find anywhere else? Of course not! But with only two more episodes to choose a fiancee (again), Nick had better hope she provides some clarity. Let's see who stands out and who goes home this week!
Brooklyn
Nick invites Andi in (not that he has a choice) and pours two glasses of whiskey. Knucks to them both.
Nick addresses the elephant in the room by reminding Andi she broke up with him the last time she knocked on his hotel room door. They get past the initial awkwardness quickly enough to allow Andi to ask if he's planning to have sex in the Fantasy Suites. I'll give ABC some credit here for ditching pretense and laying it out in plain terms. Maybe network television is only a couple decades behind the curve of societal norms!
The Rose Ceremony
As Chris escorts each of the four remaining contestants to the Rose Ceremony, you can see they're really stepping their dress game up. Unsurprisingly, Corinne has adopted the "less is more" approach.
It's like a Bond Girl swimsuit crashed into a Bond Girl dress at high speed. And then had a snowplow dump 5-day old snow on top of it.
After what seems like a long time standing in the cold Brooklyn air, Nick descends from his suite to reveal his decision:
This Week's Survivors: Raven; Rachel; Vanessa
Returning to Reality: Corinne
Corinne begins crying immediately, and Nick escorts her to the Loser's Limo. They say an oddly mature farewell, and as Corinne rides away, she wonders aloud to the camera, "Why can't I just have a normal relationship?" and promptly falls asleep. Word, Corinne. If reality television isn't where all the normal men have been hiding, they probably just don't exist.
Finland
Nick recaps his remaining relationships in voiceover as we are treated to a montage of nature shots. Turns out Finland is pretty!
Spoiler alert: the first date doesn't involve ice fishing. I know, Nick's foolishness knows no bounds. It's like he's not even trying to be romantic!
Raven's Fantasy Suite Date
In a date as old as time, Nick and Raven ride in a helicopter above the Finnish wilderness until they're dropped off at a local pub. They spend the early minutes imbibing liquid courage and playing darts; Nick sucks at darts. Like, really sucks. I think he goes one-for-three even getting the darts on the board. After an exceptionally brief interaction with a local, they turn the dial up with shots and a discussion of household chores. It's actually pretty cute, and as close to a real conversation as any couple really gets on this show. I mean, it sounds silly, but talking about who will do the cooking and who will fold laundry is a real life relationship conversation! They both admit being nervous about the Fantasy Suite, and while Nick doesn't have any expectations, Raven plans on going all the way tonight.
The next stop is a cabin in the woods where they're hoping to enjoy a view of the Northern Lights. Nick has gone full turtleneck for the occasion, but it isn't enough to dissuade Raven from saying, "I love you."
Nick, you're supposed to wear turtlenecks to later Fantasy Suites to hide hickies or other physical philandering evidence! Let's hope this wardrobe blunder is your only premature action for the evening.
Raven receives the standard confirmation of a snog and reaches for another glass of wine. We know from the episode's previews that Raven is extra nervous because she's never had an orgasm; if I was in her situation, declaring my love and revealing my relative inexperience on national television, I'd be skipping the glass and pulling straight from the bottle like JoJo's mom. She relays her concerns to Nick, whose face suggests he now feels an enormous amount of pressure.
Does Nick have what it takes? If not, he can always retreat into his sweater for shelter!
We'll have to wait until next week, because ABC gave me an early birthday present and aired an hour-long episode! Thanks, ABC!
This episode tallied 31 drinks according to the QQ Bachelor Drinking Game. Feel free to follow us on Facebook for new content, and we'll see you next week!
