The Bachelorette Drinking Game Analysis: Blearily Looking Back
In the end, the Bachelorette JoJo Fletcher chose Lil Jordan Rodgers over Robby, the man who never wore socks. Was his aversion to this standard foot accessory the reason he was spurned? Was it because he jinxed himself by giving into pressure from ABC as part of a conspiracy? Perhaps he was simply too in love with JoJo and some small part of her still found that unsettling after only ten weeks of "dating". We may never know the reasoning behind her decision, but we do know she likes to say "I love you" after a former professional quarterback proposes to her. Like, a lot.
That's an entirely normal reaction for most people, and one that would hardly raise eyebrows of an onlooker. The Bachelorette is not real life, though, and when the current Bachelorette Drinking Game rules assign five drinks to the Bachelorette saying "I love you", it sends BACs through the roof. In the final two minutes of the episode, JoJo told Lil Rodgers "I love you" eight times for a total of forty drinks. As always, we advise you to play this game at your own pace; I hope you heeded that warning this time.
Other than JoJo releasing at least a fifth of the Kraken, the finale was unremarkable on a total consumption basis. Chris Harrison made by far his most appearances of the season (12), largely because he was hosting the watch party shown before and after many commercial breaks. Lil Rodgers helped set a new record for contestants saying "I love you", but partly as an instinctual reaction to JoJo laying it on thick. We'll revisit the rules again before next season, but for now let's break down the full-season results.
Bachelor Drinking Game Results by Rule
Thanks a lot, JoJo. All those drinks from the last scene of the last episode.
Sloppy Snogging Seconds put up a strong performance in the middle of the season, which is to be expected; JoJo is comfortable snogging with the remaining men, and enough men are left to drive up the bonus drinks.
WaterFalling in Love followed a similar path, spiking in Episode 8 when JoJo said she was falling in love with all four remaining contestants.
As mentioned above, JoJo's repeated "I love you"s at the end of the finale contributed the single largest one-episode drink count for any rule.
The steadiest rule was Cheers!, with a low of 1 and a high of 8 but mostly 3s and 4s, leading to a variance of 3.34. That's high, but not for this game.
You can easily track how the guys became more comfortable saying "I love you" in the last three episodes of the season.
Bachelor Drinking Game Results by Episode
Yes, this is a boring chart. But look at that finale spike!
Yikes. The jump between episodes 4 and 5 is attributable to burgeoning emotional connections; 17 of the 37 additional drinks resulted from contestants saying "falling in love" and people crying. The SSS rule chipped in another six, starting a huge run through episodes 6 (28) and 7 (21).
From that point on, the results were steady until the aforementioned shotgun inspired by JoJo's fully automatic proclamations of love. We may need to create specific rules for the finale next season. I try to target one drink per two minutes of showtime, and we were slightly ahead of that pace in the second half of this season (1 drink every 1.38 minutes).
Until next time, nurse your hangovers, send suggestions our way, and see if the Bachelor Drinking Game can help you through Bachelor in Paradise!
Of course, if you actually want to relive the events of JoJo's turn as the Bachelorette, check out our recaps here:
