Setting the ground rules for a game intended to get you 1/4th as drunk as the contestants on the show. Don't worry, that's plenty!

Comparing Chad to a philosophical theory, not that movie with Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis.

Each remaining couple faces the perils of the proposal pedestal, determining whether they will be engaged for a brief time (most), break up today (next most), or get married (and least likely).

Grant and Lace get matching tattoos; Nick and Jen visit a fortune teller; Carly is stuck with another weird date; Ashley finally goes home.

Wells gets in triple trouble; Jared makes a wise move; Carly gives the ED Doctor a taste of his own medicine

Josh confronts his accusers; Wells arrives and gets to work; Jami shows up dressed to kill; Caila and Jared get a short-lived reprieve

The end of Vizzy; Jade and Tanner revisit the Paradise Pad and evaluate couples; Carly is chosen for another weird date; Ashley supplants Evan as the worst.

Caila struggles mightily with a simple decision; Vizzy faces a big test; Grant says "I Love You"

Ashley arrives and immediately falls apart; ABC tries to get Evan female attention; Nick finds a new lady and a lot of crabs; Daniel stays the king.

Evan borrows Amanda, creating an opening for cheese pizza; Grace and Vizzy go on a double date; Daniel continues his MVP season.

Josh and Amanda snog so much I wonder if they have gills; three couples snog on the same piece of furniture; Evan continues to be the least likable person in Paradise.

Josh Murray returns to fill the silverback gorilla void left by Chad's departure; Nick watches helplessly; Carly and Evan set a Guiness World Record; Leah sets an unofficial record for quickest meltdown.

We meet the contestants, Grumpy BadScruff gets Angry and Wasted, and Chris Harrison continues to enjoy the best job in reality television.